the DARK AGES

used to read about how the world or certain empire in the world went through the dark ages or the dark period in the history.

i think as human, we too go through the dark ages of our life sometimes. maybe once, maybe twice, maybe more than two... however, what should we do doing such period of life? angry? despair? hate? blame? self pity?

as for me, i used to do all of that. but now, the dark age has come in my life again. what is my reaction? i hide. in a CAVE.

of course, i feel lonely, i feel isolated in my cold cave. but this is part of my healing process. to adjust, to renew and to wait. i feel grateful, because i still have my God with me, always. even though in my cave. :P

so, please give me some time, because i am going through my dark period and waiting for the cloud to pass, before i see the sunshine again.

well, the dark age is not bad at all, because every time i been through it, i became more mature, more loving and more sensitive to people around me. possibly, this might be the greatest present i ever received before i move into my thirtiest.

can't help it but...

strangely.. you said that we can actually see a person as another thing as they sometimes resemble a certain object, plants or animal..

to me, you look like this cat. timid, cute, fluffy on the outside. but if somebody wanted to harm you, unknowingly, you actually turned into a fierce lion. i guess you does have a very strong defend system. which i totally admire and love about.

when looking at you like this flurry cat, i wanted to care and love you more,
when looking at you like a lion, make me respect and more careful about what i say or do, so that i won't hurt you in the process. (or else i might be torn apart by your teeth!! :P )

just be whatever you are right now. no changes, nothing to improve, because to me, you are purrrfect! :-D

Finally .. the day has come...

17th November 2005. my life is put on hold for so long. this is it. after all the hard work, the tears, the happiness and privilage of working in SynnexUK, i have to go through this day.

whether pass or fail, i'm letting my creator to do what is His will is. even if that's mean i'm gonna waste my life, go through pain and shame.

life is not perfect for me, strangely.. always getting results that i don't like, breakups, failures, breakdown but still, i am trusting my Lord for what had happen in my life. or yet to come. because i know He did it with love, with mercy.

so if anyone out there who read this message of mine. please pray for my viva.